aka Squish Principals : Purr with Purpose

distilled from the values of somanauts, squish squad, heart tribe, radical bodyworkers of the bay, somatic / transpersonal / expressive arts psychology, ecstatic dance & contact improvisation communities, + infused with a strong shot of consent culture

 

A :

If you are un-comfortable, move

: put self-care first – give from your abundance : respect your own sensation as a call to action and trust that others will do the same : allow yourself to respond to attraction / repulsion without judgement or coercion : cultivate intuition : bless your bliss : proactively engage with your experience : redirect touch for your enjoyment : find and address the discomfort – transform through release / repositioning : what would make you feel at home ? :

B :

Safety doesn’t happen by accident

: practice active consent : celebrate consent by asking permission without overlaying expectation through giving time & space for others to check internally : check messages being broadcast through both non/verbal channels : explore your partner’s communication style – know their personal sonic & somatic vocabulary : when in doubt – ask : clarify – add detail to specific questions : what makes you feel safe ? :

C :

Find freedom within boundaries

: no means yes to something else : boundary = container : boundaries are defining – knowing boundary is knowing oneself : honor borders as awareness of healthy self-care : you are not the source / catalyst of other people’s boundaries – don’t take them personally : proactively manage your experience : knowing your no allows you to own your full yes : recall historical reasoning / associations : why do you have this boundary ? :

D :

Invitation with clear Expectation

: deepen into intimacy in sharing : clarify underlying intentions / motivations behind offers to allow partners to make an informed decision : allow space without attachment to hear un-pressured response : verbalizing boundaries is a historical marker that a boundary has been crossed in the past : proactively support the needs behind a boundary by clarifying why it was created : consent is qualitative – details add depth : is your boundary fixed, flexible, context-dependent, and does it have speedbumps ? :

Corollary : Invitation without Expectation = authentic gift

E :

As deep in, as deep out

: In-to-me-I-see = intimacy : one can only connect as deeply to someone else as one has connected to themselves : primary evolution is to feel into yourself, a reflection of this relationship is feeling out : connect to self-truth to be met authentically by others : self-initiate inquiry : find personal voice, experiment to learn preferences : what scares you ? :

Corollary : turn projection into introspection

: outer world mirrors inner world : as above so below : principals of deep truth translate into all realms : own your feelings & framework : tell your own story : I statements create a window into your internal experience, adding definition and resolution to the structures that make up your perception of reality : causality = perspective : where are you related to what is around you ? :

F :

You are the authority of your own experience

: externality degrades internal authority : internal voice as guide : choose your own adventure : discernment – find your level : titrate to taste : lifestyle resonance : rewrite your story : all possibilities are within you : change your perspective, change your life : challenge stereotypes & archetypes through individual inquiry : perpetual student of life : share studies & skills : what are you an expert in ? :

G :

Yo ; check it : be an agent of collective well being

: power = responsibility = response-ability : use privilege in pursuit of justice : move / act from the heart : generate net positive value in all interaction : group field is affected by presence : coherent resonance amplifies energy within the collective field : perhaps you are predisposed to play a certain part – but you are not limited to just that : call all to deeper awareness and clarity : delineated difference between pointing out individual behavior // a group reminder to pay attention : the universe is experiencing itself through you : think globally, act locally : how can you care for yourself through collective well-being ? :

how can you inspire collective well being?

how does the field speak through you?

 

corollary : Nourish what Nourishes you

: model the culture you wish to manifest : encode understanding through embodying values in action : active, participatory container curation : co-create conscious culture : answer longing with belonging : what does it look like to live the world you dream of ? :

H :

Drop In Deeper : use embodied communication

express ~ no / yes / more / less / reassess : feel > think : authenticity = effortless embodiment : expressed body is real in rawness – remove cognitive filtration / judgement : intuit then articulate : if needing to clarify verbally – partnership has already fallen out of coherent somatic attunement – reminder to listen deeper : dive into receptivity to participate fully : practice touch literacy : language density : heighten resolution –  distinguish subtle hues : wealth in nuance : communication = listening game : what was it like when you existed before words and felt other people ? :

(what does it feel like to be completely listened to and understood? are you speaking the same language ?)

I :

Squish, don’t squash

The deeper the pressure, the deeper the listening : fast and light, deep and slow : checking-in is a constant collaborative calibration : When in doubt wait it out – slower speeds allow ample space for processing experiences and tuning into truth : reflect if inhibiting or overriding another’s ability to choose or move